Some say that its called being noble: I think that this is not the correct and exact definition but it hints in some way at the same connotation. I’ve always been taught that being noble implies doing the right thing for the right cause, regardless of the sacrifice or even honing the sacrifice.
I’ve spent a lot of time with this idea in my mind. I know it feels good to help someone else. We’ve all been there in some way. You cover for your coworker or teammate because you know you’ll need her help sooner or later. You give your brother $100, and then in some way look for ways he can pay you back, even if not by returning the cash. You help your friend find job, and then feel angry when she isn’t as proactive in offering you support. Or in my case you go totally out of your way for months on end helping a goalkeeper and when you need the slightest assistance from the parent, they find the most pathetic excuses to turn you down.
My kindness is not that to expect a return, I do it because I really want to help and if I’m not cashing in like all the other goalkeeper coaches that have high numbers, it’s because I help and I’m aware that I help a LOT. I feel good about it, I sleep better knowing that I dedicated a lot of time not only to my children, but to the children of others, goalkeepers that need that extra push to make it to where they want to be.
I’ve driven 650 miles in one day to assist one of my students at an ID camp, I’ve given around $5,000 of free tuition to several of my students as I know that their parents are in need and that money can be invested in paying the electricity bill or to put gas in the car. I’ve given out more free goalkeeper gloves, than I have actually sold, the same goalie gloves that I pay out of pocket for.
The equipment that my students get to use and that they wont find in any other goalkeeper academy in the country is all paid out of pocket. Every penny is re-invested in the academy, in the goalkeepers.
It’s really nothing to brag about, it’s the same reason that my son attends the best soccer club for U12 development, he has 11 pairs of GK gloves and 5 pairs of cleat. He has a closet full of authentic goalkeeper kits, hundreds if not thousands of dollars invested in his apparel.
When my family had money they were never around to give, most of the time when I was 8, 9 and 10 years old they had no clue where I was during the day. I would hang out till 10.00 pm on the Pier and they thought that I was at home in bed… yeah right! When my family became broke nothing changed in my life as I had nothing anyways. So, I never had cleats, a soccer ball or goalkeeper gloves. I never got goalkeeper training of any kind. I was a sharp tool, but hidden in the back of the shed.
That’s why my son has it all and I wont deny him anything that will help his goalkeeper development and at the same time I don’t want other children to pay for their parents misfortunes. It’s not their fault, like when I was their age it wasn’t my fault either.
I’ve had parents text me stating that they didn’t make the month so they wont be able to sign their son/daughter up to the academy for that month. I made sure that they did attend, they got a free month. It happens here and there everyone has a tough month, the child should not be dragged into it. More than helping the parents, it’s basically avoiding that child has to go through what I did.
On the other hand there are parents that will casually forget to pay, some even for months. These unfortunately I let go, they’re no longer welcome and I remove them from the academy. I will never allow a parent to take advantage of me.
If I din’t have the worst parents on the block and basically had nothing as a child, would I be the same man I am today. Would I do my best so that other kids don’t have to go through the same shit I did? I don’t know!
When you do a favor and expect to be returned, then you are doing 100% business and certainly not kindness. Simple things become complicated when you hope for that to happen. The truth is I like to help my goalkeepers. It makes me feel good. I don’t do it in order to get anything back. I believe that the more you give, the more luck you receive. You can’t help everyone, I can’t help every keeper. I do however help some, them that really need my help.
Today I text someone asking them for a small and I say “Small” favor, someone that I have personally gone out of my way many times to help their child. No money request involved, but maybe a few minutes of their time that’s about it. Their response was straight out “NO”.
I have to say that right then and there it did bother me. Then jumped in the fact that I’m doing what I’m doing not for the parent but for the child and I let it go. It’s something they’ll have to live with not me. That keeper will get the same training as usual and as always at no cost!